Ten 34
Why do men automatically go to jail after merely being accused of rape or physical abuse?
It seems as if it would be imposible or 99% unlikely that women would ever lie in such a scenario.
gee sprinter reasonable question and everyone is missing the point…
if i acuse my neighbor of theft with no proof and no evidence it is laughed out of the police station.. at MOST they will investigate and see if there is a reasonable chance of a crime to charge them with…
OTOH if my wife walks into the police station and says i beat her <or someones gf> i get to spend time in jail till i can get bonded out..
no proof no evidence.. her word against mine… the problem here is that he said she said is more strongly believed by the police in a sex related/male on female abuse case then in a normal crime…
and the answer is recoil…
for many years police would ignore these crimes as part of the good old boy network.. minimilizing and even at times calling it the victims fault… so society as a whole.. recoiled agianst that reaction and the pendulum has swung to the point where men were considered guilty until proven innocent in rape/assault cases….
with the failures of the duke rape case etc.. the pendulum i starting to swing back now and hopefully it will settle at a reasonable point were both the acussed and the victims are protected.
November 9th, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 7 Comments »
Why is mental and verbal abuse so much more debilitating to me than physical abuse?
Professional answerer pls!!! No offense to everyone else just really need pro. help with this one!
Hey Brooke my daughter at 1 year old got to watch the breath choked out of me and then thrown down a flight of steps by her father! So now again I put my question back to you sweetheart!
The mind is more complicated than we can diagnose. Physical abuse can be repaired and heals within months but mental abuse goes to scars that last for ever.
November 6th, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 10 Comments »
Do you think any amount of kindness can make up for physical abuse?
I mean, if the abuse keeps happening, but if the guy is the nicest guy in the world in between incidents…
Honey, I’ve lived this life.. so I’ll tell you straight up what you’re seeing… First, abusers aren’t mean all the time or no one would stay with them… Second.. there’s this classic scenario that is called the "cycle of violence".. it starts with what is called the honeymoon stage (all lovey dovey, everything’s sooo good… he loves you!) then the buildup of pressure, then the explosion (either verbal/ physical or both), then back into the honey moon stage ( but he loves you, if only you hadn’t…, he’ll never do it again, he doesn’t want to lose you, great intimacy, usually flowers or some gifts), and then back to the buildup and around and around… generally these things get worse, not better… because each time you give him permission to keep doing it… Oh, well, I threw something at her, she stayed… ok, well, now I’ll get really mad and lose it, and slap her, oh, she stayed.. etc.. It’s a vicious cycle.. and in the meantime, you’re tearing down your walls of what’s ok.. how to get out.. becoming more dependent.. etc… You just have to ask yourself when enough is enough.. all the people here could tell you to leave now, you won’t until you are ready.. for me, I waited until he almost killed me in front of my little girl, pushing me into her, swinging his fists, locking me in the house… I knew without a doubt he intended to kill me that day, and left with "only" her, running for our lives… and, because I waited so long, if he had killed me or had snapped on her, then what? what would have happened to my child who didn’t chose that life? You can do better, he isn’t worth it.. this won’t end with a fairy tale.
November 3rd, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 13 Comments »
How can counselling help with anger managment resulting in physical abuse and does it work?
it tries to find the reason behind the anger, and ways to resolve this. it also gives you ways to deal with your anger, helps you figure out what you can do to prevent outbursts, or calm down or whatever, in ways that will work for you..
it doesnt work for everyone but it does for a lot, if you put yourself into it, and it takes time nothing changes over night.
but its worth a try
November 1st, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 5 Comments »
What are long term affects of physical abuse?
I don’t think there are any…. honestly.. I was pysically abused abused up age 8 and i know many many people who have also and turned out okay.
um…. what?…. SERIOUSLY?
you could be a perfectly normal person… sure… but I’m not sure you know enough about this to assume that there aren’t any affects.
October 29th, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 8 Comments »
Are there not laws prohibiting physical abuse of children?
There is no law made by man that forces you to do circumcision.
Why should parents and doctors be able to make a choice as to whether to cut someones skin off?
I agree it should be banned in any country wishing to call itself civilised. However they are mindful of infringing on people who do it for religious reasons. Here is some info on why it is better to leave him intact:
A video called "The circumcision decision" which is very helpful and informative:
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-5395565256830319025&ei=si6cSZCZMYnojgKZmcCUDg&q=nocirc&hl=en
History: Non-religious circumcision only started in English-speaking countries in the late 1800’s. The main reason was to prevent masturbation. If you want to learn more then look at this site:
http://www.historyofcircumcision.net/
Rates of circumcision:
Circumcision rates have dropped in the USA to 60%.
http://www.circumstitions.com/USA.html
In Canada and Australia the rate has dropped to less than 10%. In Britain the rate is less than 1%. Only 20-25% of the world are circumcised, 2/3 of these are Muslim.
Foreskin function:
The foreskin is a vital part of the penis. Those that are circumcised do not know what they are missing.
The foreskin contains many specialized nerves on it’s underside. When the foreskin is moved up and down it is very pleasurable. Circumcised men have lost this ability to masturbate easily as there is no gliding effect. Circumcised men often have to resort to artificial lubrication in masturbation and sex. See here for the function of the foreskin:
http://geocities.com/painfulquestioning/naturalresources
Without the foreskin protecting the glans, circumcised men lose further sensitivity. The glans (head of the penis) dries out. It also brushes on underwear causing the skin to toughen. See here for the full damage done:
http://www.noharmm.org/IDcirc.htm
There are good reasons to believe that sex is better for the woman as well, if the man has his foreskin intact:
http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/10F/doctor_northrup.html
Circumcision carries a lot of risks:
http://www.catholicsagainstcircumcision.org/cac_complications.htm
There is also evidence that the pain and discomfort of circumcision disrupts the mother-son bond and also breast feeding. Some evidence suggests the trauma of circumcision has long-term psychological effects.
http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/goldman1/
In terms of care – intact is also a lot easier.
The foreskin is attached to the glans at birth (they have to break this seal to perform the circumcision – this is excruciatingly painful – not that the pain is the worst part of circumcision )
You should never pull back the foreskin or try to clean under it. It requires no care.
The foreskin should be left to become retractable on it’s own , it should not be forced. The foreskin becomes retractable by itself. this occurs any time up until the end of puberty, though the average age is 5-10 years. Until then, nothing to do. A lot of doctors/nurses are not familiar with this – don’t let them retract it.
Once it becomes retractable, there is little care – just wash it like any other body part. It is not dirty – if it was then women would be a lot dirtier. Most men worldwide (75-80%) are intact and have no problems.
http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/care/
As for health benefits they are minimal to non-existent – and certainly don’t outweigh the downsides. Men in Britain, France Germany and Italy for instance don’t get circumcised and they all do fine. See here for info about health:
http://www.circinfo.org/parents.html
October 27th, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 3 Comments »
Can a man justify the physical abuse of his family, his wife, and children?
Why do some men abuse their wives? What can possibly be a legitimate reason? What more can be done to put these freaks away?
Alcohol, and drugs are no excuse. Those two things are not the reason men/women abuse each other, or their children. The violence is already inside the abuser, alcohol, and drugs are just the means to make folks more comfortable in doing the abuse.
It’s all about power and control. Honey if everything that could be done would be done, there would be less of this problem. It is really a sad situation.
I worked in the Public Defender’s office, and I saw a woman go to jail because she cut her husband with a box cutter because he was beating the sh** out of her. She had just got home from work (she worked in a warehouse), and still had her work clothes on and work equipment with her in, thank God, because he probably would have broken her nose, or worse killed her, he was punching her repeatedly in the face….. I cried with her when I saw her.
There is no justification for any sort of abuse on a family, regardless of the gender. Both men and women are guilty of it, and stricter laws should be governed to punish the offender.
October 25th, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 11 Comments »
Can a man justify the physical abuse of his family, his wife, and children?
Why do some men abuse their wives? What can possibly be a legitimate reason? What more can be done to put these freaks away?
Alcohol, and drugs are no excuse. Those two things are not the reason men/women abuse each other, or their children. The violence is already inside the abuser, alcohol, and drugs are just the means to make folks more comfortable in doing the abuse.
It’s all about power and control. Honey if everything that could be done would be done, there would be less of this problem. It is really a sad situation.
I worked in the Public Defender’s office, and I saw a woman go to jail because she cut her husband with a box cutter because he was beating the sh** out of her. She had just got home from work (she worked in a warehouse), and still had her work clothes on and work equipment with her in, thank God, because he probably would have broken her nose, or worse killed her, he was punching her repeatedly in the face….. I cried with her when I saw her.
There is no justification for any sort of abuse on a family, regardless of the gender. Both men and women are guilty of it, and stricter laws should be governed to punish the offender.
October 25th, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 11 Comments »
How do I overcome childhood sexual and physical abuse?
I was physically and sexually abused by my dad between the ages of 2 and 14 and now at 20 although I’m quite happy with life I feel like I can’t quite get over what happened and move on. I have a problem with my confidence due to how my dad used to talk to me always calling me names and I’ve never been able to get close to anyone and have a relationship. Also the thought of anything sexual makes me feel sick. Has anyone been though similar experiences and how did you overcome it?
Many people have been abused and the vast majority have gotten over it, and some have developed into better people because of that abuse. This is quite often the case with those physically abused. Sexual abuse is a horse of a different color, but my belief is that a person whose head is screwed on right should have no problem getting over it.
The main thing for you to do is think about what you now have and not about what you had. A good soldier puts the war behind him and goes on. A bad soldier starts reincarnating the bad things of war and becomes useless. Be a good soldier.
October 23rd, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 8 Comments »
To the victims of physical abuse as children, do you find yourself in need of constant affection?
I feel very incomplete without it. I constantly need a boyfriend or sex partner and they have to be older than myself.
Yes, I also have anger problems aswell.
I was mildly physically abused but even more so emotionally abused as a child. I discovered that I need someone to love me, I guess. I never stayed single for long. I didn’t know what to do by myself and I felt panicked when I was single.
October 23rd, 2009
Posted by admin in physical abuse | 14 Comments »